Main raho ye na rahu

Tasmiah Azad

Starring: Imran Hashmi and Isha Gupta,

Singer: Armaan Malik

I still have your jacket. You know the one you always wore. The one with worn out cuffs and a little hole by one of the pockets. The right one.You let me borrow it the day we went to the beach. Remember? It was raining and freezing cold yet you had like two chocolate ice creams and well the rest is history. 

It was freezing and you being the ‘perfect gentleman from some Bollywood movie’ took off your hoodie and then zipped it all the way up and let me borrow it. You even adjusted my hood and flashed that perfect smile of yours. You said I looked cute in your hoodie and for a second  I thought maybe you liked me ‘more than a friend’ but sooner or later you proved me wrong. 

The hoodie was a little big but I did not mind. Because somehow wearing that felt I mattered atleast to you. You took my hand, the oversized sleeves covering both our hands, we walked along the soft sand, barefoot and freezing ourselves to death,the waves dangerously beautiful as they crashed along the shore line a small distance away. I wanted to know what you were thinking but for me we were two kids in love enjoying the moment that belonged to us only. 

You never asked for the hoodie, even though it was your favorite. For days I kept waiting for you to ask it back but you did not and me being ‘selfish’ when it comes to you decided to keep

it. If not you at least your hoodie. 

Even today after all these years whenever I take a walk on the beach I cannot help but think about you. Sometimes I would wear the hoodie because it smelled like you, you know, just a little bit. Just enough to bring tears to my eyes and take me down the memory lane where I imagined a ‘together forever with you’. 

But then again you never loved me the way I wanted you to, you always loved my sister. Maybe I am good but probably not good enough for you. There are times when I question myself why you chose her over me but then again things don’t happen the way you want them to. The world is not a wish granting factory. Sooner or later we all learn the art of letting go and I did too. Some part of me still loves you and I know that part will always do.And maybe in some alternate universe you will understand the words left unsaid.

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